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Kink Alphabet Ask Meme

spicyzsk

A = Anal: Is Anal more fun than frontal penetration?
B = Brat: How obedient do you like people to be in the bedroom? Is disobeying fun?
C = Cum: Turn on, turn off, or favorite?
D = Denial: How long can you edge before it can’t be taken it anymore?
E = Exhibitionism: Do you like being seen getting off? Ever done anything explicitly hoping to get caught?
F = Fucking Machines: Have you ever had a chance to ride a fucking machine? Would you?
G = Glory Hole: Would you ever go to a glory hole? Have you been to one?
H = Humiliation: Do you like to humiliate/be humiliated? Any stories?
I = Ice: Are you in to temperature play?
J = Jack Off: How often do you masturbate and what’s your favorite way to do so?
K = Kitten: In to pet play? Do you prefer kittens or pups?
L = Latex: Latex, leather, or neither?
M = Medical: Have you ever done any kind of medical play? Share stories!
N = Nope: What’s your biggest turn off?
O = Orgasm Control: Would you give up your orgasms for somebody? Would you take them from somebody?
P = Pubes: Full bush, trimmed, shaved, waxed, what do you do? What do you prefer?
Q = Queening: Self explanatory. In to it?
R = Rope: What’s your favorite means of tying somebody up?
S = Switch: How often do you switch or are you exclusively one role in the bedroom?
T = Teasing: How much is just the right amount of teasing before somebody gets dicked down? And what are you favorite means of teasing?
U = Uncut: Do you have a preference or are all cocks built equally?
V = Vanilla: What are you favorite ‘vanilla’ things for when you’re not in a particularly kinky mood?
W = Wildcard: Answer any question submitted to you but you can only give Yes/No answers
X = xvideos: Have/Would you ever upload videos of yourself online?
Y = Yuri & Yaoi: Are you in to it? Does 2d get you going?
Z = Zzz: Have any fantasies involving sleep?

lgbthirsty

Why not, I’m bored

Anonymous asked:

Can you explain d/s relationship 101? How do you go about getting over the embarrassment when your with your partner, especially when it comes to anal/poop, stretch marks, gag reflex ect? How do you introduce the idea of d/s to your SO? How do you get over the stares of the people around you when it comes to a collar? How do you pick the right collar? How do you know you're with the right dom? Sorry ik lots of questions. Just answer the best way you can please and thank you.

cherishedproperty answered:

Whoa. This is a lot. And more in your other ask. But I’ll try to hit the highlights…

Can you explain d/s relationship 101?

The Dominant leads, the submissive follows—within the boundaries that the submissive sets. The way this happens is different for every couple. But generally there are rules the submissive must follow, and the Dominant holds the submissive accountable for following them. But this isn’t just about Dominants getting whatever they want and submissives accepting it. Dominants and submissives create their dynamic together in a way that meets both of their needs and balances likes and dislikes. A D/s relationship is still a relationship. It still has to take care of you. Which is why open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any D/s relationship. Not kink. Not rules or collars or spankings or butt stuff. Talking and listening. Lots of it.

How do you go about getting over the embarrassment when your with your partner, especially when it comes to anal/poop, stretch marks, gag reflex ect?

This is where the talking comes in. My partner reinforces for me constantly that what he wants is my obedience and my best effort. If he chooses anal sex and there’s a bit of poop, that’s a choice he made. I try to do what I can to keep clean, but when you have long periods of being anal only, you have to let your body function the way it’s supposed to function. That’s just part of being a human. And it’s part of giving over some of your choices and your privacy. My body is my body. I use it to serve him. As long as I obey and do my best, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Especially in those potentially embarrassing situations, it helps when your partner praises you for being so wonderful.

How do you introduce the idea of d/s to your SO?

My friend Amy has a wonderful tag on this that you should read. But when I tried it, I tried to keep it really brief and basic. “I need this. Here’s what it is. Here’s what I think it might look like. Here’s why it’s important to me.” I sent my ex a few resources (that he never read). Then when he started trying things, I praised everything that felt like a step in the right direction and told him how happy it made me. Didn’t ultimately work in that relationship, but I still think it was the right approach.

How do you get over the stares of the people around you when it comes to a collar?

Don’t wear anything that looks like a collar in public. Simple. I lean toward simple choker necklaces—something someone “in the know” might guess is a collar. But others just go with a simple necklace. Still others are in long-term, committed D/s relationships and don’t wear a collar at all. Some see their wedding ring as the only collar they need. But a leather collar with an O-ring type of thing? In my opinion, it doesn’t belong in public. Others may see it in another way. But I would absolutely never wear an obvious collar in public. I have a job and a child and vanilla friends, and I don’t believe in exposing the public to my kink play. So I don’t.

How do you pick the right collar?

It depends on what kind of collar you’re talking about. Is this a collar you wear during play or one that you wear all the time as part of Being Collared? For play, you go with whatever is going to be durable for however you’re going to use it. Are you using it for restraints? Are you planning to get it wet? How much mobility should the submissive have? All of that affects choice of materials and thickness. Beyond that, it’s whatever appeals to your partner and you.

For a day collar you wear all the time, some people have more than one. My preference would be to wear the same piece every day, which means it has to be something I can wear at work and around my child. Something that doesn’t really look like a collar, but just looks like a special necklace. Some people even do rings or anklets or bracelets. There are no rules. Only what fits the preferences of you and your partner. Because of my lifestyle, I prefer to have veto power over the option set. Then once everything on the list is something I am 100% comfortable with, my partner makes the final choice. I’m less concerned about final say when it comes to a play collar.

How do you know you’re with the right dom?

The right Dominant is a leader for you and for the relationship. They think about the direction of the relationship. They think about your personal growth and health and happiness. They respect your emotions, even when they don’t agree with you. I’ve written a couple of things about this. And some things that are red flags. My friend 144 has a whole tag on red flags that is worth a look.

How to properly mix pain and pleasure?

Pain can be tricky when you’re new. The key for me is in calibration—something my friend 144 has written about before. The pain-giver has to check in with the pain-receiver to see how much pain it really is. A scale of 0-10 is helpful. For me, I need spankings to start with a slow warm-up of light impact so that I can take more pain. A hit with the paddle might be a 9 when a spanking just starts and then be a 6 later. Endorphins are your friend, and they help you to feel the pain as pleasure. So you have to go slow, learn your partner, take your time. And communicate!

This was so long. And it took me so long to get to it because it was so long. Please send me a targeted question. And maybe a bit of context? Thanks. :)

tiedlittlebutterfly

Would love to add something to the “collar in public” part. This depends extremely on your life situation. A small d-ring collar might be something people aren’t questioning if you’re an arts major. Are your frinds mostly ‘nilla or not, are they familiar with alt culture (punk, goth etc.), what is your living situation (room mates, children and so on). If you feel like no one will ask questions or it wouldn’t be inappropriate in any everyday situation, feel free to go for what you think feels right. If you work an office job or have friends who would start to ask questions you don’t want to answer, better go for some day collar. Look through places like etsy and you will find a tremendous amout of collars that just look like a necklace and if it helps Pandora did this https://us.pandora.net/en/jewelry/necklaces/silver-necklaces/heart-shaped-padlock-necklace/396583FPC.html

And like mentioned there are no rules what a collar you wear in public has to look like and who says that a bracelet got less symbolism to it?

In the end it is comes down to the question “will people look at me/will I get in uncomfortable situations because of the type of collar I/we picked”.